hi my name is frank.

jaypiss:

There’s just something about finding someone new that really scares and irks the crap outta me. You are kinda just throwing pieces of yourself for someone to keep then throw away. As someone who always sees the glass as “half-empty,” I think being in relationship is not taking a chance but a risk. If you like taking risks…that’s great for you. But, I hate taking risks. You already gave in for someone but how much more of yourself are willing to give? I can’t do that. I can’t stand the fact that someone knows my flaws by detail, knows the mistakes I made in the past, and knows when I’m completely vulnerable. When everything falls apart at a certain moment…I wouldn’t know what to do. Loneliness overwhelms me like a crashing tidal wave. Pain scrapes at my dying heart like a lion’s paw. All these depressing feelings pile up on me one by one until I become the little needle in the haystack. On top of that, the person I cared about more than anything on Earth….is just gone with every little thing that I gave. Every memory, kiss, hug, and feeling. Everything I wouldn’t tell about myself is actually walking around in someone’s mind. Then, that person can tell anybody. I can’t stand that. It’s not even spreading rumors about me….it’s letting people know my weaknesses, flaws, and mistakes. Also, I’d have to deal with the fact that the person I cared about so much is gone.

There’s just something about taking a risk that doesn’t excite me. Usually things fall apart for something even more beautiful to come in. And here’s what I’m tryna say….Your eyes see something nice and take that risk. For a long time, it’s so beautiful but it turns out your eyes were deceived. Pretty much, another thing fell apart…      This all me though. I can’t keep letting my heart get ripped out and thrown away. Seriously, screw it….no one really cares.